6/05/2548

Want vs Need

I'm sure there are others out there who share this problem with me.

When I want things, I'm alright with asking. I want a shoulder rub. I want to go see a movie. I want to take a few pictures. Can a I bum a ciggy off you, please?

But need... When I need a helping hand, I can't seem to bring myself to ask for it. Why is that? I need help in understanding this problem. I need help to stand up. I need to eat. How difficult can it be?

See, yesterday I was working on a set, and the scenario involved gunfire, which meant a lot of running in high heels bent down or crawling on the ground. A lot of strain on the muscles at the front of the upper leg (whatever it's called). And today I can not walk. Seriously. My muscles are so sore if I twitch my foot, I feel like somebody has punched my leg. And here I am in a house surrounded by people and I'm not asking anyone if they could possibly help me. Instead I'm limping around, then sitting and feeling sorry for myself.

Maybe it's a pride thing - that's the sad conclusion I've reached. Or perhaps it's a fear issue? Either I'm too proud to ask for help when I need it or else I'm afraid of what would happen if I asked and that person said 'no'. I know, though, that any of my friends would be more than happy to help out if I were ever in need. I know I am more than happy to help any of them out. So ... like I said earlier, it must be pride.

Who else has issues with this? Or am I just weird in some way?

Back to studying :)