Ranting after exams
Just as the golden deer abscondeth as
It sees the wielding hunter from afar,
'tis always that which one most desireth
With ill countenance will it one avoid.
Truly, a thing so fiercely desired
The mind maketh grander with each musing
Will never be sweet in reality
As imagination doth render it.
But...
Crappy sonnets aside (sorry, my exam yesterday involved Shakespeare)...
I bet Fortune is having a bad hairday. It's not that the ultra-hyped up event turned out a disappointment. That would have been my own fault. I would have gotten an HD just for effort were this an academic endeavour.
It just never happened, that's all. I spent my entire morning preparing for a momentous night out - instead of studying for my exam in the afternoon. My mind was already flying out of the exam-venue before I ever started writing. I cancelled all other plans for this one.
And then?
Seems like a Karmic slap in the face. "You should have studied, numbskull" says Ms."K".
How frail is the shiv'ring human body
That so haplessly succumbs to sickness...
A lot has been on my mind of late. I've been dreaming every night. That's how I know. I mean, it's really not the tangible problems of life that are plagueing my conscious at the moment. It's those fears I've been harbouring for almost 4 months now - they know they are getting stronger, and they are coming close to the surface. My nightnares are so real. I never once in my life woke with tears streaming down my cheeks until Monday night.
But. So. They are nothing but fears. And so it must be... The greater the fear the stronger the attachment.
On the surface then, it would seem that my will to pull through would be greater as a result of this fear. And perhaps it is. Or perhaps I shall just be butter at the knees and crumble before I even stand.
Why can't I just have that self-assured courage in the place of this fear-induced, cowardly determination?
Or, shall we take another line of argument? It is said that to be brave, one first has to know fear. So when will this bravery come? It has seven days to reveal itself to me.
It's quite touching the way both of us are having nightmares, when you think about it...
By the way... Did I mention? Exams are OVER!!! =)
It sees the wielding hunter from afar,
'tis always that which one most desireth
With ill countenance will it one avoid.
Truly, a thing so fiercely desired
The mind maketh grander with each musing
Will never be sweet in reality
As imagination doth render it.
But...
Crappy sonnets aside (sorry, my exam yesterday involved Shakespeare)...
I bet Fortune is having a bad hairday. It's not that the ultra-hyped up event turned out a disappointment. That would have been my own fault. I would have gotten an HD just for effort were this an academic endeavour.
It just never happened, that's all. I spent my entire morning preparing for a momentous night out - instead of studying for my exam in the afternoon. My mind was already flying out of the exam-venue before I ever started writing. I cancelled all other plans for this one.
And then?
Seems like a Karmic slap in the face. "You should have studied, numbskull" says Ms."K".
How frail is the shiv'ring human body
That so haplessly succumbs to sickness...
***(*)***(*)***
A lot has been on my mind of late. I've been dreaming every night. That's how I know. I mean, it's really not the tangible problems of life that are plagueing my conscious at the moment. It's those fears I've been harbouring for almost 4 months now - they know they are getting stronger, and they are coming close to the surface. My nightnares are so real. I never once in my life woke with tears streaming down my cheeks until Monday night.
But. So. They are nothing but fears. And so it must be... The greater the fear the stronger the attachment.
On the surface then, it would seem that my will to pull through would be greater as a result of this fear. And perhaps it is. Or perhaps I shall just be butter at the knees and crumble before I even stand.
Why can't I just have that self-assured courage in the place of this fear-induced, cowardly determination?
Or, shall we take another line of argument? It is said that to be brave, one first has to know fear. So when will this bravery come? It has seven days to reveal itself to me.
It's quite touching the way both of us are having nightmares, when you think about it...
***(*)***(*)***
By the way... Did I mention? Exams are OVER!!! =)