stay happy!

"A human being is part of a whole, called by us the 'universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affectation for a few people near us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

-Albert Einstein

I've been told recently that I'm a really negative person, that I'm really pessimistic, and that I always think of the worst case scenario and get paranoid way too easily. So this is going to be my attempt at showing that I do think positively about things sometimes. Besides, I think we all need to remember to smile sometimes - so here are a few things that make me smile:

1. Soy cappucinos when my nose is cold and red... They warm me up beautifully. When I don't know what to do next, the first step is a soy cappucino, it gives me a focus, and when I'm feeling scattered, that magical drink calms me down.

2. My little Alba, who is always so happy to see me after my year in Australia that she pees herself - they way she curles up next to my tummy and falls asleep, the way she runs around in circles and darts from one corner of the room to the other when she's hyper, the way she insists on eating grapefruit, oranges, seaweed, and spicy things because she wants to eat what I eat.

3. Having little secrets that I know I will soon tell a person, like when I gave Sidhaesh his birthday present and told him he'll know when he's allowed to open it (boy was he surprised!), or when I didn't let on that I am Thai to those customers at Spaghetti tree that time.

4. Attention from my dearest: text messages, stroking hair, little kisses, that cup of coffee in the morning, fleeting glances, surprise appearances, hugs, photos, cards, smiles, special dinners, talking about me to friends, gentle words, holding hands, 'good-morning phonecalls'... and all those little details that seem so trivial

5. Babies! I love my little nephews, niece, and I love seeing little children where I work, or on a train, at the park, etc. Playing with the little people is the best thing to do in the world! And when they smile for you, it's the most rewarding thing!

6. Summer, warmth. It doesn't have to be sunny (in fact, I love a warm summer rain) - but just ... I don't want to have to think about carrying around a jacket, a sweater, thick socks... The only thing I want in my hand is yours, and the only thing I want on my feet is the sand.

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Been feeling guilty for my avoidance of MUISS, NLC, etc. Recently, I've been bumping into the student unionists at Monash, and they are all incredibly surprised that I'm not running in the elections, that I'm no longer involved... That I never really wanted to do any of it, even!

Ofcourse, I feel that I've gained so much more perspective on life now that I'm looking at the foolishness of the last couple years. But - no regrets - definitely gained some skills there! But in truth, I think the one thing missing in most student reps in compassion and empathy for the students... that only seems to come in after the term is over, and agendas are forgotten.

So what's this truth that I've learned about student representation? Why do I feel that no real work is being done?

Ego.

Simple as that. It's in the way - and being an office bearer only accentuates it. Now that I'm out of MUISS, I'm doing more to help my fellow students than I ever was before - and I've learned that it's not the structures that are in place that are really helping - it's the networks that we form by ourselves. And to think - how important I used to think it all was!

Now that I'm out of it all, it's so clear how little difference any of these organisations really makes, and how few people even know of their existence.

... but nonetheless, I feel guilty. I feel sorrow at the friends I could have had had it not been for the whole student-union affair gone sour

... yet, happy for the lessons it has taught me

for what it's worth, I truly wish everyone well...

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Hey... who knows something about Jehovah's Witnesses? We had a group of 34 at the restaurant last night who'd just finished some 3-day convention. I wouldn't have guessed they were very 'Godly' people, because essentially, they looked like a bunch of very good-looking people who were extremely 'well-oiled' and happy. All the girls - kids included - wore only dresses, and all the men (again, kids included) wore suits. Is that somehow part of the religion? Cristelle was saying that the Jehovah's Witnesses that come to her house also always wear dresses. Maybe it's just coincidence? I don't know - Hopefully I'm not offending anyone - I'm just curious is all.

As a group of people to serve (ofcourse this should have nothing to do with religion) they were rather 'well-behaved' (except the kids were clearly spoiled and got kinda all-over-the-place towards the end of dinner), but super-stingy with the tips ($1.70!), considering how much special attention they demanded! Oh, well, can't always win :P