Should stop being such a drama queen...

For all the people that were worried when they read my previous blog: Thanks for your concern and ... SORRY SORRY SORRY for making you worried... it's just me being dramatic.

Here's the deal... I'm just stressed, so thus I get edgy (Dood knows all about it!) and then I get into fights more easily and then I feel bad about myself for being argumentative and then I cry...

Seriously isn't anything to worry about. I'll probably be like this until I finish with all the crazy amounts of assessment I have to do before September, then November, then February!

No major crisis to report... Over and out!

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Yesterday went and saw Oliver Twist with Tenzing and Sarinda in the impossibly small cinema nova... oh, well, we were sitting one row from the screen, which is probably a good thing since it's so tiny!

After movie and dinner, 'the boys' walked me to work... hehehe, and ofcourse, being with two dark, tall and handsome young men, I had to make a scene and give them both a big hug before going to work!

Then Cristelle (my colleague) goes "Fon - how come you are with two boys when your boyfriend is out of town?"

Fon: "Their my best buddies!"

Marie (my manager): "Yeah - RIGHT!"

[Peals of laughter]

Erm, well, not that that was particularly funny, it's just that we seem to laugh at just about everything at Spaghetti Tree... really great place to work in :)

I've taken to calling all the guys in the kitchen "Sayang", so now they all call me "Darling"... But yeah - all good fun, and we are always laughing...

I was thinking of maybe turning the restaurant into an honours thesis, because I think the style of discourse practiced in the setting is unique, and clearly patterned. I've noticed it in other places I've worked in as well. Everyone has one style of speech when they talk to the customers, another two styles when they talk to the kitchen (one for orders, the other for fun).

There's a lot going on - There's kitchen-kitchen fun/work, there's waiter-waiter fun/work, there's waiter-kitchen fun/work, manager-kitchen, manager-waiter fun/work.

All different styles... That's 10 altogether! Oh yeah, there's also waiter-client discourse rules ("in a rush", "time to chat", "unhappy client", "flirty client")... lots of discursive rules.

What makes it more interesting is that there is also the multilingual setting of the Spaghetti Tree - there are a lot of Indo's around, but then there are other language groups as well, and we use English as the medium of communication - except for the kitchen, who speak to each other in Indo.

What more can I ask for as a setting for ethnographic linguistic work?

This week's stats:

Today's Sunday... so counting today:

Night's I've worked: 6

Pages I've read in Kecskes' book: 104

Days until I go to QLD: 11

Nights I had an unecessary argument: 2

Friends I've caught up with one-to-one: 6

Nights I've cried myself to sleep: 3

... busy busy busy!

A few minutes with Adbusters.org

Ok... I bought the adbusters magazine, which I've been reading on and off for a while, and took it to work the other day, and ended up having to explain the whole concept of 'adbusting' to my colleagues. Incase any of you are bewildered by this concept, here are a few images from their website:







Also, here is a local variant from election time (in Australia) 2004:

Dishearteningly quiet...

It's almost as though the Thai media is simply not equipped to dealing with news of violence... Why is it that I feel there has been a considerable amount of failure to report facts or even search for them in the Thai news? Everything seems to be reported vaguely behind 'opinion pieces', with some quoting 40 bombs, some quoting 50 that went off last Thursday. What's the deal? Why the mixed reports? The silence? So how many people died? How many were injured? I'm sick of these mixed reports!

It's as though the majority of the people are more interested in sweeping the conflict under the carpet than actually dealing with it. When one incident occurs, like the one where the school teacher was beaten into a coma, it recurs in the news like a plague. I guess that's only human nature - when we find one piece of dust, we use it as an example to show our guests how otherwise spotlessly clean the house is... when they peer into the cupboards and a huge pile of dirty dishes comes tumbling out, we can't really offer much in the way of explanation. Our embarrassed faces say it all...

So much in the same way, the government, the media and the people seem to be embarrassed by the mess we've made in the South, and our stuttering comments on this violent incident reveals all!

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Yesterday was my grandfather's 90th birthday :) Happy Birthday Vaari! I called him but I don't think he could really hear me... My manager was really nice. I'd asked her specifically to get a break around 9 so that I could call him... no worries there :)

*** **** ****

Feeling like there is something severely missing... *sigh*

And sick, too. No good :(

Feeling drained. Had to change my undergrad plan again because of clashes, and now I'm not doing the courses that I really want to do. All because of one compulsory course on Aboriginal Languages! If I had decided to take my time about graduating, then my compulsory course would have been 'Syntax', which I'm slightly less disdainful about. But hey, if I want to hurry it along, I guess I've got to make some compromises...

*sigh*

In response...

'Ateegoy's post, "A not-so-funny-issue" today touched one of my most delicate heartstrings... the issue of discrimination.

Atee, girl, I really feel you. One's religion, ethnicity, and language are always close to one's heart. A temple is a symbol of one's religion, community a manifestation of the ethnicity, and schools (hopefully) a practicing place for one's language.

When one's temple is destroyed, it's not that physical place that claws at your heart when you see it reduced to rubble. It's the fact the somebody didn't see you as a valid person. Somebody didn't think that your religion mattered, and somebody didn't respect your background.

"Your in our country", they say, "you have to adapt our ways. What you believe is not important. Go back to where your forefathers came from if it's so dear!"

But is that place not your home now too? What is it that made that place ok for your grandfather, but now shuns you?

Let's face it - a missing building permit - no matter how important it was - is nothing but a pretext... are they asking the members of the dominant religion for the building permits?

The truly sad thing is knowing that with 'modern thinking' we are meant to be more open minded, and yet... *sigh* there are still governments that are clinging to the ideal of a homogenous nation state even when it is clear that such an ideal entails religious, linguistic and cultural genocide!

Each and every country in the world is multicultural (with the exception, maybe, of homogenous Iceland), and that is manifested in the existence of different languages, cultures and religions in each country. The sad thing is that almost every country bullies the minorities under various pretexts... Your neighbours in Thailand, Atee, bully the Islamic minority in Pattani, Yala and Narathiwat by telling them their culture and religion do not fit into the "Thai" concept. The Finns disregard the heritage of the Lapps (a.k.a. the Sami people) by not recognising them as anything else but 'indigenous Finns'. Sri Lanka is marginalising the Tamil population in the country. The Americans are trying to implement an "English Only" policy in the US to prevent the Spanish from gaining any prestige. Aboriginals in Australia are treated as a social phenomenon, rather than as the rightful owners of the land (despite what policy may say). The list is endless, and controversial. And let's face it... hearts are broken every day...

Atee: I'm so sad to hear of your temples being destroyed. I'm hanging my head in shame, too, at belonging to this race of creatures that cannot see beyond power dynamic. How blind we all are!

Numerous studies in psychology, sociology, politics, linguistics, etc., show that as creatures in homogenous environments, we are close-minded, and perform not-so-well in cognitive and analytical tasks. Learning about other cultures (usually by learning a foreign language) broadens ones perspectives, and in makes one better at cognitive tasks (just ask me for the references, and I can give you a host of research that shows this!).

And yet, we are endangering hundreds of cultures in the world with nationalistic policies that seek to "unify" people under the banner of "One nation, One culture" What a load of bullshit! The antagonised don't just go "Oh, ok, you don't like us? Sorry, we'll just put a stop to our own ways and start using yours." They fight. We all fight when we're up against the wall!

Just this past Thursday, 44 bombs went off in Southern Thailand. That's what happens... it's not the fault of the minorities, but the manifestation of the wrongdoings of the dominant culture.

Majority groups! What is it that you need to prove so badly?! Why all of this jealousy and hatred?

This may seem like a strange quote, but it fits:

"Do you hate them 'cos they're pieces of you?"

- Jewel

Why is it that the elephant is so afraid of the mouse?

Will be MIA henceforth

The crap just keeps piling on!

Ok, so I'm doing a 12-point (ie, 2 unit) overload (so 72 credit points instead of 48) next semester. If that's not hectic enough, when I'm done with that, I'll be doing the two philosophy units over summer, as I mentioned in my previous post... but THEN, the semester in Singapore begins on the second Monday of January, whereas the summer semester exams are in February. So I'm going to be doing my exams in Singapore, one month into my honours program there!

The strange thing is that I'll have started my honours before technically graduating! Strange, but true. I've talked to all the relevant faculty people and worked it all out.

That means, anyhow, with the amount of work I'm due to complete between now and when I return from Singapore, I shall officially have no life, so no socialising for me until April 2007. That's just the way it is. Sorry Melbourne friends.

The plus side of all this is that I shall have two extra months to complete my thesis because of how early the semester ends in Singapore, so I'll get a chance to relax then!

So if you need anything, please call, but I'm not going ANYWHERE except uni, gym and work from now on. Visits at home are still welcome, though :)

Also... on skype now, so add me: valisa.fon

Isa: I posted my last philosophy essay on-line just now, even though I was meant to do it ages ago, in case you or Mae wanted to read it (it came back with a 'distinction' grade)

Lesson 1: Don't bluff

In my last post, I said "Final Year? Bring it on!"

I didn't mean compressed into 1 semester!!

Holy S***!!!!

The assessment I have to do for ALI is worth two units, not one, as I had previously thought. Plus, I have to be enrolled full time. So I'll have completed my linguistics major by the end of next semester, which leaves me with 2 philosophy units, which I can do over summer.

Oh my god, I'm going to DIE!

But I'll be graduating on time, hopefully...

Stamped!

It's only now that the first academic stamp is drawing nearer that I'm realising how much more I can do with my university experience in terms of learning.

I can, ofcourse, get through my course with flying colours if I just stick to the program, but I also have the opportunity to network, to enrich my knowledge beyond the boundaries of Monash, and I'm going to take every opportunity I can now!

So with that in mind, I've got great news! My faculty has approved both the course that I will be doing in Queensland and my proposal for honours exchange to Singapore! Yay!

On a similar note... I'm DONE with exams for this semester... Final year? BRING IT ON!

What's annoying is that I had quite a few clashes between my Philosophy and Linguistics units, so I couldn't take exactly the units that I wanted to, but the substitutes are great, too. It seems that half the academics at Monash prefer Monday morning lectures (are they insane??!)...

But next semester is going to be tough! Essentially, I'm overloading, because I'll be doing full-time studies, plus working on the essays I have to write for my assessment of the course I would have done in Queensland. Ouch. That, plus work! Full on!

Hey, we all work better when are backs are against the wall, don't we?

Just focus...

That's sometimes the toughest thing to do, isn't it? I guess I can really only do one thing at once.

I'm really looking forward to the winter break, and for very nerdy reasons...

I had to choose between NLCAC in Perth or going for a conference and taking a course in Queensland that will be (possibly) counted towards my degree. I couldn't ask my work for almost three weeks off that attending both those events would have entailed.

But yeah, the LINQ 2006 conference + ALI course will be held in University of Queensland. The conference is aimed at academics and postgraduate students, as is the program of the ALI course... but my sociolinguistics lecturer thinks I should be fine.

Keeping my fingers crossed that it'll be given to me as credit towards my degree... since I just blew ALL my savings paying for membership of the Australian Linguistics Society (ALS) and Applied Linguistics Association of Australia (ALAA), as well as conference registration and airplane tickets for Queensland!

Oh, big thanks to Sachin, who has graciously volunteered his house for my use (otherwise I'd have to pay for accommodation, too!)

Also, I'm considering going for the LTRC conference (in Melbourne), although that's already more towards the field of education...

Why now??!

I've got this terrible, terrible feeling. It's a heavy hand on the inside of my chest, and it's squeezing the air out of my lungs. And it's inching towards my heart.

I want to let it go, get it out, but it's just lying there, refusing to move. There's no logic in it being there, because everything is perfect, right? Isn't it?

If I don't force it out, I'll be stuck with that illogical leaden hand with slowly scratching and inching fingers...

*** *** ***

Can't concentrate, can't sleep, keep crying, feel like bashing head against wall..., etc, etc. Why right before this exam?!

And you're probably happily doing whatever it is you are meant to be doing, having shoved it all out of your mind. I guess I envy you for that.

I hate fights...

I hate knowing that I don't have to mental strength right now to just resolve the issue, or just forget about it...

If I'm that weak, then I guess it must be my fault... that is, my fault for letting it affect my mood. Why should I let anything affect my feelings? Why should I want anything, feel anything? I have no need to be happy, sad, angry, ecstatic, nervous, hate, love, etc...

I've only got my duty to perform, right? And right now, that's to be a student.

So I should study.

There's nothing else but the Dharma, is there?

It all makes better sense that way.

And it's easier to let go...

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Sorry about that e-mail, Daeshious.

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